We revealed on Thursday how a typical day for the 44-year-old mum of four involves rising at 5.30am, exercising for two hours, drinking apple cider vinegar for breakfast, eating fist-sized portions at meal times and snacking on bee pollen.
But how would a “normal” person cope with a day of eating like the former Spice Girl? Brave Sun writer GEORGETTE CULLEY swapped her daily menu of cheese, carbs and calories for VB’s horti-couture diet.
MY first stop is Tesco superstore in Leytonstone, East London to pick up the shrubs . . . I mean grub.
Unlike VB, I don’t have a private chauffeur so I have to make do with the next best thing — an Uber cab.
The driver looks at me like I’m mad when I get in, wearing a body-con blue dress, nude stilettos and shades.
“You’re going to Tesco?” he asks doubtfully as he does a double-take at my Posh outfit.
“That’s right,” I assure him, topping up my lippy. “I don’t do comfortable, darling.”
Once inside the store I grab a basket and make my way round the aisles — though it’s no easy task in 4in stilettos, and quite frankly the slippery floor is a safety hazard in this footwear. I’ll inform the manager later.
Glancing at my shopping list, I begin to suspect I’m more likely to find these foods in a bird’s nest or my nan’s fish bowl, but I carry on.
Surprisingly I find most of the items fairly easily but I’m having no luck with the natural cereal, liquid amino acids and bee pollen. Maybe those sneaky Tesco people have moved them again . . .
But no, after five arduous rounds of the superstore and many more many strange looks from other customers, I give up and ask a store assistant for help. “Excuse me, could you take me to the bee pollen please?”
She looks stumped but I’m not sure if it’s my question or my skimpy outfit which is throwing her.
Like an anxious duckling trying to keep up with its mum, I waddle after her down three aisles before she finally stops and points in front of her. “Have a look here.”
To my disappointment, I’m now in the pet section. “Sorry,” I continue, a bit frustrated and embarrassed, “Bee pollen is actually human food.”
“Never heard of it, love,” she tells me, then, er, buzzes off, seemingly having lost interest.
I find the elusive pollen later — down the road in a health food shop, along with the liquid amino acids and cereal. Mission accomplished — and £60 skinter — I head home to prepare for the next day.
I enjoy one final feast of pizza before turning in early, as I know tomorrow is going to be tough.
POSH loves nothing more than a hearty serving of apple cider vinegar, first thing.
Personally, I’d rather have a trusty espresso or full-fat latte, but dairy is strictly banned in VB’s world.
I feel like I’m taking part in a rugby club initiation as I lift the glass to my mouth, except sadly there are no fit guys around. My verdict? Vinegar belongs on chips. After that it’s time for Posh’s “monster” smoothie, which consists of greens you would usually find on a roast dinner.
Then she has gluten-free, dairy-free, fun-free natural cereal with unsweetened almond milk. But compared to what I’ve already had, it tastes like heaven.
AFTER her frugal brekkie, the fashionista does two hours of exercise, starting with an hour’s run on her home treadmill then some yoga. Am I out of my mind?
Sadly, I don’t have a gym in my humble abode so I take to my local park and ignore kids on bikes laughing at my gym kit.
What do they know about fashion anyway?
Following the rigorous run, I bend it like Beckham and stretch my aching muscles as I search for my zen.
I know it’s round here somewhere . . .
Morning snack: 8am
THE day has barely begun and already I am pooped.
Feeling peckish, I douse an array of seeds in liquid amino acid and roast them in the oven for a mid-morning snack.
I also whip up some edamame beans and a bowl of bee pollen.
To be honest, the roasted seeds and edamame beans are surprisingly edible.
But the pollen tastes of fish food and I can’t stomach more than a mouthful.
AS lunchtime rolls around, what I really fancy is a carb-rich ploughman’s sandwich with crisps and full-sugar Coke.
But in Victoria’s spice(less) world, all I can look forward to is a bowl of corn soup and a fistful of salmon.
I cheer up at the thought that some days, she has something else – until I remember it’s three pieces of sushi.
Posh is a portion-control freak and won’t eat anything bigger for fear of putting on a gram or two.
Afternoon snack: 3pm
LIKE Posh, I often find myself feeling musical.
Right now, my creative juices are flowing and I rush to the piano to practise my new tunes.
That burst of activity leaves me feeling a bit peckish (again) so I decide to nibble on some more edamame beans to help see me through. What a treat.
BY now I’m ravenous but the thought of sitting down to a plate of salt-sauteed spinach isn’t exactly filling me with joy.
But amazingly it tastes OK – though it is in no way what I would call a meal.
It’s more an accompaniment.
I devour it in two mouthfuls – not because it’s delicious but simply because I’m starving.
AFTER a long day cooped up in my hutch eating rabbit food, I fancy unwinding in my local pub.
Sadly, alcohol is too calorific for our Vic, who munches on coffee beans instead when out socialising.
This feels more like torture than enjoyment and I can’t even open my mouth to talk as I have coffee stuck in my teeth, which isn’t a great look.
Exhausted, I give up and go home.
End of the day: 8pm
I LIMP into my flat and fall on to my bed. All I can hear is my tummy rumbling.
I give in to temptation at last and spice up my life with a curry. But today might have done me some good – I find I can high-kick just like Posh does.
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