Yesterday it emerged Netflix has introduced a string of barmy new rules for staff, including a ban on looking at anyone for more than five seconds.
Should any worker feel threatened, for example, they are told to shout: “Stop! Don’t do that again!”
This might work in California, but us Brits love to flirt at work.
Despite fears lighthearted exchanges will turn toxic, office relationships are simply too good to outlaw.
So The Sun’s dating guru TINDERELLA offers her guidance to help staff steer a safe, yet sexy, course through the dangerous waters of flirting in the workplace.
The walk of shame
BOUNDARIES are for losers, you say? You’ve smashed through the office flirt barriers and actually done the deed?
Then come in head held high. Assume everyone knows and that they’ve been gossiping about the pair of you all morning.
Never complain, never explain – but do have the decency to swap hangover bants with your new friend for the rest of the day and abandon all hope of promotion for at least six months. You both did a bad thing.
Now, back to your desk and do some work. What do you think this is, some kind of hook-up joint?
How to say no
IF someone gets inappropriate, Netflix advises shouting: “Stop! Don’t do that again!”
But what if the “criminal” is simply a hapless co-worker you don’t fancy asking you out?
Ignore temptation to #youwish, #nochance and #asif them to eternal shame.
Instead, drop the C-bomb right on their head by saying: “I see you more as a colleague.”
No word in the English language implies a cooler or more distant relationship. They will soon be begging to be upgraded to the friend zone.
You've got male
THESE days, 90 per cent of office flirting is saved for email. But rules still apply.
Firstly, leave off the kisses, which are for losers who still fancy Justin Bieber. Swapping gifs purrs intimacy.
Timing is important. Exchanges that spill into the evening are one thing, swapping messages at weekends is another.
As for emails crossing while you’re in bed BEFORE work? This is unsafe. Hazard klaxon.
NOBODY wants to look like a bug-eyed creeper but five seconds is short, right? The key is to keep your gaze friendly (but potentially available) and always on the face.
A lingering look with eye contact over the coffee machine makes a sexy start to the day. A furtive boob ogle from behind the potted palm in the corner does not.
Women: Feel free to stare at blokes. They will never notice.
Quick drink after work?
THIS one’s a minefield. You think a pint with your workmates will be harmless, then an hour later you’re describing your sex technique to a rapt audience of IT blokes and hazily wondering if a line has been crossed.
Just remember there’s safety in numbers. Flirting in a group is fine but when the others zig-zag home and it’s just the two of you propping up the bar on your fifth bottle of red, it’s time to be on your guard.
Ask for a phone number
NETFLIX has banned asking for a phone number. A what, sorry? A “phone number”?! Paging the 1970s, they want their funny toys back. NOBODY talks to each other on the phone any more – workmates email chat or go to Facebook Messenger. You can FaceTime using just an email, too.
The streaming giant is absolutely right about this – but only because asking for a phone number is just about the creepiest question you can throw.
Got rejected? Style it out like this
THE advice from Netflix is to steer well clear of a colleague if they turn you down.
No. This is rude and will stink of sour grapes, particularly if you work in a tiny team.
It also hints that they were only ever an appealing set of genitals, rather than an actual person to you.
Be breezy. Don’t mention it again but don’t ever talk about your sex life in front of them again. Unless, of course, you like the acrid smell of a broken heart.
Hug it out? Maybe not
FIRSTLY, keep your hands above the waist – any lower and it’s a grope. Stick to the three-second rule and add a couple of manly back pats to strip all sexuality clean out of the situation.
Your hips must remain stock still. Any twitching down there and you’ve crossed an angry red line… unless you’re both at it, in which case get a room.
And not a meeting room, either. That’s almost as tacky as a photocopier tryst.
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