What you do will come back on you… that is, unless you belong to an elite group of killers in soap, who just seem to have got away with murder. It’s true that one or two of these peeps wound up in a prison cell, but their sentences were so pitiful we would barely call it punishment.
Others have evaded the law but met a grisly end, completely unrelated to their own killings. And there are one or two characters who have been fortunate enough to have the writers brush their criminal activity completely under the carpet. This lucky lot are beyond the law!
So who remembers these naughty nine, who, for whatever reason, definitely didn’t do proper time for their crime?
1. Moira Dingle (Emmerdale)
After weeks of us wondering whodunit, Moira finally ‘fessed up that she was the person who had pushed bonkers Emma off that viaduct. Luckily for Mrs D, she had an incredibly loyal support system willing to protect her secret – and a son prepared to take the rap for her.
After Adam escaped a life sentence by going on the run, guilt-ridden Moira came clean to Ross and Pete that she’d killed their mum. Her fate was in her nephews’ hands, but the only penalty she received was getting pinned up against the wall.
The next day, Ross – who had clearly run out of damns to give – told his auntie that he wanted to forget the whole thing. Just like that, the Emmerdale writing team got Moira off the hook, which coincided nicely with the news of actress Natalie J Robb signing a new year-long contract.
2. Silas Blissett (Hollyoaks)
Silas, the self-proclaimed serial “slut slayer”, was one of Hollyoaks‘ most genius creations, so frankly it would have been criminal to lock him up and throw away the key. The gruesome granddad did serve time for his first spate of murders in 2011 (which included accidentally killing his own daughter), but he managed to break out of prison in well under a year.
Since then, Si has returned to rid the village of its promiscuous ladies on a couple of occasions, with varying success. He was last seen throttling Gloved Hand Killer Lindsey Roscoe to death two years ago, but we have a sneaky suspicion Hollyoaks is keeping Silas on standby for a last hurrah.
3. Robert Sugden (Emmerdale)
Okay, so Robert didn’t intend to send arch nemesis Katie crashing to her death through the floorboards of that rickety old barn, but he certainly played a key role in her demise. Aaron helped him cover up the crime, because love, we get that. But why didn’t Chas call the cops on Robert’s ass when she found out that he’d been behind her BFF’s death? Answer: Rob is far too an important part of the Dales to have him slung in the slammer for years on end.
The only one who took any real action was Andy, who hired Ross to shoot his brother, but even then, Robert lived to tell the tale. Clearly out of fight, Andy ended up forgiving his brother’s sins, and the pair made up. Maybe time is a great healer after all.
4. Ronnie Mitchell (EastEnders)
Make no mistake about it, Ron knew exactly what she was doing when she crunched Carl White’s head in the boot of the car on New Year’s Day 2014. After calling on Phil to help her dispose of his corpse, Ron hopped on a plane to Ibiza for a spot of winter sun. Later that year, she was made to sweat a little when Carl’s brother Adam showed up in Walford sniffing around for answers about his sibling’s whereabouts, but he eventually abandoned his mission.
There was every opportunity to send Ron back to prison, but ‘Enders still didn’t take it. The mad Mitchell had further blood on her hands when she ordered the killing of Vincent, but innocent Fatboy got caught in the crossfire. But there’s nothing like a dip in a pool to wash that blood off. Exactly three years to the day of Carl’s death, Ronnie was killed off by ‘Enders, in a death by drowning. Karma can be such a bitch.
5. Mercedes McQueen (Hollyoaks)
Another one of soap’s untouchables is the inimitable Mercy – this one seems to have licence to do what the hell she wants, and that includes murder! The McQueen bumped off her husband, the evil Doctor Browning, with the assistance of her mates Cindy and Lindsey, back in the autumn of 2013. The trio disposed of their victim’s body and carried on life as normal – until Sam Lomax rumbled them.
Instead of reading Mercedes her rights, Sam congratulated her on ridding the world of a wrong’un, and allowed Mercedes to join the countless other killers left to roam around Chester village. It also meant ‘Oaks got to keep the amazing Jennifer Metcalfe – win-win!
6. Tracy Barlow (Coronation Street)
Tracy B is more entertainment than evil these days, but no amount of hilarious one-liners can make up for the fact that she’s a cold-blooded assassin. Possessed by the green-eyed monster, Deirdre’s daughter conceived and carried out the killing of her two-timing boyfriend Charlie Stubbs. A couple of thwacks over the head with a heavy ornament was all it took to end Charlie’s life and make Tracy a murderer.
Corrie might reckon that Tracy got her comeuppance by getting sent to the clink – but serving a fifth of her 15-year sentence is one of the most pathetic punishments we’ve ever heard of. The few tongue-in-cheek comments Trace has made about her crime would suggest she views the act of murder as normal as making a brew.
7. Max Branning (EastEnders)
How Max can still sleep at night is beyond us. In the last year alone he’s screwed over the entire Walford population, has been solely to blame for his daughter’s death, and most intriguingly has got away with the manslaughter of Steven Beale. Causing the liver bleed which claimed his victim’s life is one of the most serious crimes Mr B has ever committed, but one which he hasn’t had to answer for.
Max has been significantly helped by the fact that no-one gave a stuff about Steven dying – even Ian acted as if he’d been done a favour – plus the writers clearly felt that the character had run his course. Show bosses decided a bout of depression and self harm was enough to make Max repent for his sins, and secure Jake Wood’s future firmly in Albert Square.
8. Carl King (Emmerdale)
Carl stunned viewers across the country when he admitted that he was Tom King’s killer. Just to refresh your memory, he pushed his dad to his death after King senior made snide remarks about his girlfriend Chas being a two bit stripper. Extreme much? Carl confided the truth about what he’d done to brothers Jimmy and Matthew (who told him to keep his mouth shut), then his lover DCI Grace Barraclough, but she got run over by a lorry before she could bring him to justice.
Carl even went and handed himself into the police, but for reasons known only to the soap’s storyline team, the cops didn’t take a blind bit of notice. Carl had another five years living in the Dales as a free man, until the soap gods intervened and had him bludgeoned to death by psychotic love rival Cameron Murray.
9. Dot Cotton (EastEnders)
Controversial as it may seem, sweet old Dot could be considered a double murderer. She didn’t deliberately kill her Nick, but it’s undeniable that she provided him with the dodgy smack that ended his miserable existence. She didn’t even make any attempt to pick up the blower and ring 999 when he was on his way out. Also, she helped her beloved bestie Ethel peacefully slip away in 2000, which might have been at her friend’s request, but still highly illegal.
God-fearing Dot was left in anguish over both deaths, which was perhaps penance enough, but if she wasn’t elderly, or such an icon, could a stretch at Her Majesty’s Pleasure have been on the cards for Mrs B?
Digital Spy Soap Scoop video – hit play below for all the latest Coronation Street spoilers, as the Connors struggle after Aidan’s death and Zeedan struggles to let Rana go.
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