A Dude Is Suing His Parents For Destroying His Porn Collection

A grown ass man is suing his parents for throwing out his porn collection and I have questions. WE ALL HAVE QUESTIONS, like did the parents wear rubber gloves and a mask while touching their son’s porn, and where did they learn how to crack open a safe since he had to have kept that treasure locked all the way up. And I’m judging him if he didn’t.

According to Fox News this messiness happened in Michigan:

GRAND HAVEN, Mich. — A man now living in Indiana is suing his parents after he says they destroyed his valuable porn collection.

FOX 17 is choosing to identify the plaintiff in this story as “Charlie,” as this is a civil case without any associated criminal charges.

The case dates back to October 2016 when, according to a lawsuit filed this week, Charlie moved into his parents’ home in Grand Haven after going through a divorce from his wife. Charlie apparently stayed for 10 months in their home, doing housework in lieu of paying rent.  He was asked to leave after police had to be called to the house in August of 2017 for a domestic situation.

Ok. First, is there a market for this? Do people still collect old porn videos? Do ya’ll not know about the world wide web? Someone (other then Charlie’s parents…they’ve been through enough) should tell him about free porn sites and then maybe talk to him about a career change.

Though I do love the idea of people selling porn DVDs in 2019. Having to divide the trade show space into categories, like Big Booty Hoe’s and Canadian butt play. People going out to eat after bragging about how they got a rare and vintage copy of “Edward Penishands” while someone else is complaining that “Good Will Humping” is overpriced.

According to Charlie’s dad’s email he’s been doing it a while and it may be time to let it go.

Charlie’s father said in one email that his son was allegedly kicked out of high school and college for selling porn to other students.  Saying in the documents, “I also warned you at that time if I ever found pornography in my house again, I would destroy it.”

How much porn are you selling that you got kicked out of HIGH SCHOOL and COLLEGE? Imagine having to have to that conversation twice with your parents. And then suing your own parents because of your desire to keep selling porn DVDs. Charlie, let the dream die my friend. No one wants your sticky porn DVDs. We have the internet, Charlie. Live in the NOW.

Charlie says his parents told him that they destroyed the entire collection.  A collection that consisted of over 12 moving boxes full of movies.

The Ottawa County Sheriff’s Office was eventually called about the destroyed items. Charlie filed a police report estimating the value of his collection to be $28,940.72. The prosecutor’s office declined to file charges against his parents.

I do hope that Charlie’s parents destroyed his DVDs by hiding them in the woods, for some horny teenage boy to discover and have a magical porn-in-the-woods experience. Every guy friend I have has a story about finding porn and how it’s shaped their lives. Which just means I should get better friends who have more meaningful life experiences.

Pic: Stag Shop 

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