Gwyneth Paltrow admits she ‘never wanted to get divorced’ from Chris Martin – but through ‘focusing on accountability’ has found the ‘most amazing man’ in husband Brad Falchuk

Gwyneth Paltrow has admitted she never wanted to get divorced as she reflected on her split from ex-husband Chris Martin.

The Oscar-winning actress, 48, and the Coldplay frontman, 44, tied the knot in 2003 before announcing their ‘conscious uncoupling’ in 2014. Their divorce was finalised in 2016.

Gwyneth, who is now married to American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk, reflected on her first marriage on the Anna Faris is Unqualified podcast on Monday.

Happier times: Gwyneth Paltrow has admitted she never wanted to get divorced as she reflected on her split from ex-husband Chris Martin (pictured 2014)

She said: ‘I never wanted to get divorced. I never wanted to not be married to the father of my kids, theoretically. 

‘But I have learned more about myself through that process than I could have imagined.”

‘And because I focused on accountability, I was then able to find the most amazing man and build something that I’ve never had before with Brad [Falchuk], my husband.’

The former couple share children Apple, 16, and Moses, 14. 

Second time: Gwyneth, who is now married to American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk, reflected on her first marriage on the Anna Faris is Unqualified podcast on Monday (pictured 2019)

Chris has since gone on to date actresses Annabelle Wallis and Jennifer Lawrence – he is now in a longterm romance with Dakota Johnson, 31.   

Paltrow met her second husband, Brad, in 2010 when she appeared on the hit the television musical series Glee, which he co-created and produced.

They would reconnect in the ladder part of 2014, and eventually go public with their relationship in April 2015.  

Gwyneth also discussed how her friendship with Brad turned to romance, saying: ‘We were friends first for a long time and once I was like, “are we going to date? Is this happening?'”

‘I was scared because he is a person who demands presence and intimacy and communication in a way that I just didn’t know how to [do].’

‘I like to fight by shutting down… I leave the room. And he’s like, “No,” he’s like, “Absolutely not. We are sitting down and we are figuring this out.”‘ 

Family first: The Oscar-winning actress, 48, and the Coldplay frontman, 44, tied the knot in 2003 before announcing their ‘conscious uncoupling’ in 2014 (pictured with children Apple and Moses in 2017)

‘And he demands that I am honest with myself in a way that is hard for me but which really helps me grow. 

‘It was like being with some kind of jiu-jitsu master where they’re like, “I’m going to make you see your own stuff so you can win and advance”‘. 

Gwyneth and Chris have maintained a strong friendship since ending their romantic relationship.

Back in September 2020,  the Iron Man star confessed that she gets along better with the singer now that they have mastered a harmonious co-parenting lifestyle during an appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show.

Over time, they’ve had blended family outings with Falchuk’s two children and Martin’s girlfriend Dakota.

She said: ‘I never wanted to get divorced. I never wanted to not be married to the father of my kids, theoretically. ‘But I have learned more about myself through that process than I could have imagined. (pictured 2014)

Blended: Back in September 2020, the Iron Man star confessed that she gets along better with the singer now that they have mastered a harmonious co-parenting lifestyle (above Chris with Brad)

She explained: ‘I mean it’s so interesting because in a way my divorce and my relationship with Chris now is better than our marriage was. So I do think that it can be done.’   

The Goop founder talked about the importance of accountability and owning your failings in the relationship once the romantic part has broken down.

‘You have to have radical accountability. You have to know that every relationship is 50/50. No matter what you think, how you think you were wronged, or how bad you perceive the other persons actions, or whatever the case may be.  

‘If you are brave enough to take responsibility for your half and really look at your own garbage and your own trauma and how it’s presenting in the world and in your relationship then there really is somewhere to go and something to learn and something to heal.

‘We are all part good and part bad, it’s not binary, we are all grey area. We all are trying our best. I really wanted my kids to not be traumatized, if it were possible.’ 

Gwyneth said she and the Coldplay vocalist had to commit to putting their children first even on days when they didn’t want to play happy families.

‘You take a deep breath and you look the person in the eye and you remember your pact and you smile and you hug and you make a hug and recommit to this new relationship that you are trying to foster.   

The actress admitted it’s not easy but the long-term goal is to nurture a sense of unity.

‘Some days it’s not as good as it looks. We also have good days and bad days but I think it’s driving towards the same purpose of unity and love and what’s best for them. 

‘We have this idea that just because we break up we can’t love the things about the person anymore that we loved and that’s not true.’ 

New loev: Chris has since gone on to date actresses Annabelle Wallis and Jennifer Lawrence – he is now in a longterm romance with Dakota Johnson, 31 (above)

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