Machine Gun Kelly recounts harrowing suicide attempt in Hulu doc

‘Just f**king snapped’: Machine Gun Kelly recounts harrowing suicide attempt while on the phone with Megan Fox in new documentary and reveals she encouraged him to quit drugs

  • Machine Gun Kelly, real name Colson Baker, detailed his struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts in his new documentary
  • MGK, 32, recalled being in a ‘really, really, really dark’ place a year after the death of his father
  • ‘I called Megan. I was like, ‘You aren’t here for me.’ I’m in my room and I’m, like, freaking out on her. Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth,’ he recounted
  • Kelly said that Fox and his 12-year-old daughter encouraged him to kick his drug habit for good 
  • If you or a person you know has suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Machine Gun Kelly has shockingly revealed how he once attempted suicide while on the phone with his fiancée Megan Fox, in his new Hulu documentary Life in Pink.

The 32-year-old rapper – real name Colson Baker – recalled battling depression following the death of his father and admitted he was in a ‘really, really, really dark’ one day in July of 2020.

‘I wouldn’t leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark. Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia. Like, I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me,’ he said in a clip.

Kelly, who proposed to Fox, 35, earlier this year, described the harrowing night saying he ‘just f**king snapped’.

At the time, he phoned his then girlfriend, who was on location filming a movie.  

‘I called Megan. I was like, ‘You aren’t here for me.’ I’m in my room and I’m, like, freaking out on her,’ he said.

His dark days: Machine Gun Kelly, 32, revealed that he once attempted suicide, while on the phone with Megan Fox, 35, in his new Hulu documentary Life in Pink

‘Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth. And I’m yelling on the phone and like the barrel’s in my mouth,’ MGK continued. 

‘And I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet, as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan’s like dead silent.’

MGK went on to explain that his darkest moment – along with support from Megan and his 12-year-old daughter, Cassie – helped him realize he needed to get himself together. 

‘I was like, I need to kick the drugs for real this time,’ he told producers.

Life in Pink pulls back the curtain on MGK’s rise to fame into one of this ‘generation’s polarizing rock star.’

Fans get a first hand account of the Emo Girl hitmaker’s upbringing, relationship with his father, life with Megan Fox and a near-death experience with his daughter.

‘Life wasn’t always like this. I just don’t think anyone saw me coming,’ he recalls in the doc.

His suicide attempt was not the only troubling story told in the film. 

At one point, in the footage Kelly discussed the scary moment he and his daughter had a ‘gun pulled’ on them.

He remembered thinking: ‘I was like: we’re gonna do this with my daughter in the car?’ 

Baker had a difficult relationship with his father, who kicked him out of the house when he was young. His father died in 2020.

‘I feel like the world hates me. But, I never gave up,’ he said in a trailer for the doc. ‘Ninety percent of my fans listen to me because of the pain they relate to in my lyrics.’ 

The rapper has hinted at his troubled life in previous interviews, once telling Rolling Stone that he received a felony charge when he was 14, though he would not specify what the crime was. 

He was born on April 22, 1990, in Houston, Texas to missionary parents, and moved all around the world with his family growing up.

‘I wouldn’t leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark. Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia. Like, I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me,’ he said in a clip. 

For the first four years of his life he lived in Egypt, and also spent time living in Germany before moving throughout the United States.

When Baker’s mother left home when he was just nine, he and his father relocated to Denver to live with his aunt. 

It was a tough time for the youngster as his father fought depression and unemployment.

As a result, Baker says he had only two school outfits to wear and was the subject of bullying from children in his neighborhood.

It was in the sixth grade when he found his love of rap music, and moved into an ethnically diverse student body in Denver, Colorado.

In 2019, Baker revealed on Twitter that he had reconnected with his father (who would pass away a year later.)

He tweeted: ‘Flew out to see my dad today. broke down in my daughter’s arms when I saw him. I should’ve told him that I loved him years ago. breaks my f***in the heart that we wasted all this time…’

‘Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth. And I’m yelling on the phone and like the barrel’s in my mouth,’ MGK continued. ‘And I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet, as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan’s like dead silent.’ 

Talking to GQ after his father died, he revealed that he would have liked to opportunity to apologize to him.

‘I’d say sorry to my father,’ he told the publication. ‘I have such a rule-abiding, amazing daughter and I was such a rule-breaking, s*****y son.’

‘The legal fees, the tens of thousands of dollars from the time I got arrested, and finding out your son missed a whole semester of high school because he was waking up and pretending to go but never going. I get why it took us 25 years to finally get along.’

While he clearly has struggled with his mental health, Baker has also been open about finding tools to cope with them – particularly going to therapy. 

In a conversation with Dave Franco for Interview magazine in 2020, he confessed that he had just started going to therapy.

‘I’ve been Machine Gun Kelly since I was 15,’ he said. ‘When you grow up and that’s the only name you have, you embody that person. Machine Gun Kelly was a gangster. He wasn’t a reverend. When you take on that moniker, you take on some of that energy.’

He also confessed: ‘Adderall was a huge thing for me for a long time. And I went from orally taking it to then snorting it, and then it became something where I was scared to ever go into a studio if I didn’t have something.’

‘I wouldn’t even step out unless there was a medicine man who was going to visit me and give me what I needed. And that’s where it becomes a problem. You’re telling yourself you can’t do this without that, when really it’s in you the whole time. If that pill did that for you, then everyone who’s taken that would just be making albums and writing songs. And so that limited me.’

Life in Pink is currently streaming on Hulu.

If you or a person you know has suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) 

If you or a person you know has suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

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