Michelle Heaton has emotionally admitted she was too "scared" to see her friend Nikki Grahame before her tragic death.
Nikki passed away at the age of 38 on Friday morning, it was confirmed in a heartbreaking statement by her friends over the weekend.
The Big Brother legend had entered a treatment centre for anorexia last month after becoming "the worst she had been" following a 30 year long battle with the condition.
As tributes flooded in for the reality star following the news of her sad death, her close friend Liberty X star Michelle Heaton has opened up on her touching last interaction with Nikki.
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Posting an image of themselves at an event, Michelle wrote to her 222,000 Instagram followers: "Dear Nikki, I'm so sorry I didn't come. I was scared to see you… to say anything that may be a trigger to loose you… I was a coward and I'm so sorry [sic].
"I just listened to our voices notes, our messages, and the phone calls over the last few weeks… I think I knew, and I was too weak to know.
"Your last one, telling us you saw me on @lorraine & wished us all better and to call you. YOU thought of us even when on that day you were where you were! Most my 'so called friends' didn't even contact us [sic]."
She continued: "Nikki, I have so many memories, most I can't not repeat. The holidays, the events, Ireland Marbella [sic].
"I just came across this one. Think it was the world music awards… we went as a couple lol! (Coz we were not as famous as the others to get plus 1’s) hand on hip! wayyy to much fake tan.. pale lips thinking we look amazing [sic].
"Held our breath every time we had a picture coz we wanted to 'look good' then landed in the press comparing us to trash… as they do! But we didn’t care! Coz there was a FREE bar! [sic]
"Mini fish and chips going around! Smoked salmon on soggy crisp bread with crusty bits of wasabi (first time either of us had had smoked salmon).
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"Michael Jackson was on stage and we just went looking for the goody bags under every ones chair."
Michelle added: "I hate how I have to do this publicly.. coz 'apparently if you don't show respect on Instagram you don't really care' So yes, call me a hypocrite right now for posting this.
"But we live in a world where unfortunately if you don't Pay respects publicly then 'clearly you really were not her friend'.
"Some of the 'respects' I wanna call bull s**t! (You know who u r and I hope u have fun with your 5 mins of fame online… give yourselves a pat on the back) [sic]
Remembering Nikki Grahame
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Imogen Thomas shares heartbreaking tribute to 'unbelievably strong' best friend Nikki Grahame: 'I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you'
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Big Brother’s Pete Bennett breaks down in heartbreaking tribute to ex Nikki Grahame after visiting her in final weeks
"But the real ones… if it wasn’t for @imogen_thomas over the last few weeks, well, I adore u… #thatisall @nicolamclean30 [red heart emoji] u #carly xxxxxx needs no words.
For the people who laughed, labelled, disregarded her coz 'they' knew what she needed like 'eat a sandwich.' are probably the same ones being 'praised with their wonderful public posts'. Feel better guys?"
Referencing her iconic Big Brother catchphrase, Michelle finished her heartbreaking post: "Who Is she… who is she… She is @nikkigrahameofficial."
If you have been affected by this story, you can call Beat on 0808 801 0677 or visit www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk
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