EXCLUSIVE: ‘I wait and pray’: Roxanne Pallett feels ‘humbled’ by her New York firefighter husband Jason Carrion but worries about his safe return… as they prepare to welcome first child
She recently confirmed she’s set to welcome a baby boy with her fireman husband Jason Carrion.
And Roxanne Pallett, 38, revealed on Friday that she often worries about her FDNY hero partner, 35, when he’s out saving lives in death-defying rescues.
The former Emmerdale star wrote to MailOnline: ‘I wait. I pray. I remind myself he’s the strongest and smartest man I’ve ever known. He will be okay. He is okay. I tell myself this a lot.’
‘I wait and pray: Roxanne Pallett revealed on Friday that she often worries about her FDNY hero partner when he’s out saving lives in death-defying rescues
Reflecting on how her husband’s heroic job has changed her life, Roxanne said: ‘The last two years have humbled me to an extreme.
‘From being a girl who stood on a red carpet poised with her hand fixed to her hip and a lame smile forced on her face in a vacuous vault of validation within showbiz, to now being a woman who stands on our front porch hoping to God that her husband’s next shift will deliver a safe return for everyone involved.
‘I glance at my phone while he’s out there and to my relief there’s always messages from him every hour which fills me with reassurance. But when it goes quiet, that’s when I pause and pray to God that everything is okay.
‘The horror stories my husband brings home to me are like something out of an action film, yet there’s no director yelling ‘cut’ and these heroes aren’t given a stunt double, nor the same paycheck or amount of acclaim as action stars like Will Smith or Tom Cruise.’
‘He’s the strongest and smartest man I’ve ever known’: The former Emmerdale star’s husband Jason Carrionworks for the New York City Fire Department
Roxanne sweetly admitted: ‘My husband proudly wears a small heart shaped Union Jack on his FDNY helmet to keep me close. He tells me that the little notes I tuck into his bag are sources of encouragement which are kept proudly inside his firehouse locker next to my picture.’
Of their homelife, the soap star explained that when Jason arrives home ‘disheveled’ and ‘sweating’ from 24 hours without sleep after tackling burning buildings – he still finds time to make her feel special.
She gushed that her firefighter beau regularly picks her up pastries from a bakery on his way home ‘as though he’s just done a simple day at an office’.
Seizing any opportunity she can to support him in return, Roxanne said: ‘I run him a bath and put his favourite WWE channel on whilst I cook him dinner. I know he will need an hour just to simmer and reboot. It’s later that he will begin to open up and confide in me, spilling out the details of what he witnessed that day.
‘The gym in our home is his sanctuary. Not only to maintain his stamina and physical strength for the job, but also as a mental therapy to release the horrors of what he’s had to endure whilst out there. I look at him and he’s a constant reminder to me that a measure of a man is based on his effort to help others, without credit.
‘The horror stories my husband brings home to me are like something out of an action film’: Roxanne remains supportive by running her husband baths and cooking him dinner
‘I can always tell when it’s been a heavy run on the truck or engine for my husband, not only from his voice being husky from the smoke inhalation or the bruised markings on his face from the mask – but from the look in his eyes when he walks in and embraces me extra tightly. These heroes never clock out of their job. Even when they step out of the 30lb bunker gear and wash the city dirt off their face, they still carry the images from their rescues.
‘And even on deflating days where there’s been no ‘save’ – I remind him that he is heroic far beyond the sirens, the smoke and the bunker gear. He is heroic because he is one of those very few in life who steps up when others step back. And that makes him my hero – every day.’
Jason was raised by a single mother on welfare support in a one bedroom rented flat in Brooklyn and pushed through adversity to join the Fire Academy after facing a gruelling boot camp.
Of his journey, Roxanne said proudly: ‘Despite admitting that the years following his mother’s untimely death were the worst time of his life, he maintained the courage to face daily trauma out there on the frontline putting others first.
‘As he packs his bag [to go to work] and pulls me in for a kiss I breathe him in, holding on to that moment for just a second longer because I know this goodbye, like all the ones before, is something that I can’t take for granted.’
The soap star candidly revealed they part ways by Jason telling her he loves her, while she replies ‘be careful’ before squeezing his hand in a final farewell.
‘My hero every day’: The soap star gushed that her firefighter husband has humbled her from her days in the showbiz limelight as she praised him for his selfless public service
Roxanne’s reflection on her husband’s career comes as she remembers the sacrifices made by the New York City Fire Department ahead of the twenty years anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks.
Jason’s firehouse faces the World Trade Center where the attack took place in 2001: ‘Little did I know that two decades later I’d be married to one of those FDNY heroes – New York’s Bravest,’ Roxanne gushed.
‘The walls inside the firehouse are adorned with uplifting pictures, supportive mementos and precious torn and tattered reminders from that torturous morning of September 11th,’ she said. ‘If these walls could talk, they’d have some extraordinary stories.’
‘The very landscape that held those heartbreaking images of destruction and damage, 20 years ago on September 11th. I, like many, remember being muted with shock and disbelief as those vivid moments unfolded on tv news screens. 343 firefighters lost their lives that day, some of whom weren’t even on duty, but saw the tragedy unfold and ran in to help.
‘There’s something extraordinary about this ‘FDNY brotherhood’. I felt it from the moment my husband brought me to his firehouse to meet his fellow firefighters when we began dating. They have such a generous aura, a strong but serene presence about them, it’s almost like an original scent they all share and a unique language they all speak.
In memory: Jason’s fire station is decorated with tributes to the 343 firefighters killed in the line of duty during the 9/11 attacks in New York two decades ago
‘Beneath the prestigious uniform, even when off duty, they instantly step forward for you and run towards danger or mess, while others would instinctively hesitate or turn the other way. They all share the same components from the haunting early mornings to the frantic nights, sometimes 24 hours on the job with no sleep and constant sirens keeping them in an alert state of being ready for the unknown. I count many of these incredible heroes as friends now as they’re our extended family.’
And Roxanne and Jason are set to welcome a new addition to their family as they announced they’re expecting a baby boy last month.
Roxanne moved stateside after marrying Jason in January last year, two months after their engagement, before revealing their baby news earlier this year and the actress has been making the most of NYC’s eateries to indulge her cravings.
On her delightful news, a thrilled Roxanne said: ‘Our hearts melted when we found out. We can’t wait to cuddle him! I’d always spiritually seen myself having a little boy so it’s beautiful for that dream to come true…
‘J is so excited, he’s having adorable conversations with my tummy and kissing my bump constantly to feel him kick. And yes we’ve got a collection of cute little fireman outfits awaiting him so he can look just like daddy.’
Visit www.fdnyfoundation.org to support the official non-profit organization of the New York City Fire Department where donations promote awareness, training and support of members of the FDNY.
Her love: Pregnant Roxanne Pallett has confirmed she is set to welcome a baby boy with heroic Jason and has bought her son a mini fireman costume to match his daddy
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