Why has my partner gone off sex so much I have to pester her just to be intimate?

WELCOME to Ask Chloe, the no-holds-barred advice column.

Every other week Chloe Madeley answers sex and relationship questions from Fabulous readers, offering unflinching advice on how to deal with everything from lacklustre sex to finding the perfect partner.

This week she discusses whether a bored wife’s solution lies with her wonder woman, and has top tips for a frustrated fella.

Q. MY partner is totally off sex. This has become such a huge problem.

I’m a pretty active guy, but she’s happy to just sit on the sofa all day long. She won’t cook or clean and sex is basically a distant memory.

About a year ago she made so much effort, dressing up in sexy outfits, using toys with me – anything to spice it up. She doesn’t do any of that any more.

We only have sex when I go on about it, and it’s starting to feel like I have to pester her just to be intimate. She’s just not bothered at all, I really think she wouldn’t care if we didn’t do it again.

A. She might be tired or stressed with work. She could be hormonal or unhappy about something outside the relationship.

Talk to her about it (without looking for a sexual outcome) to see if you can determine the issue.

But you may find that now you are past the initial stages of lust, your libidos are just not compatible

Q. I HAVE a wild attraction to this lady I’ve met, but I’m a married woman. I can’t get her out of my head.

I don’t want to cheat but I’m sure my husband is sleeping with a colleague and my marriage is boring. The last time he and I had sex I thought of her. We kissed once, but then I got scared.

I know she likes me though because she bought me a teddy bear that says, ”I can’t stop thinking about you”.

I think about her all the time, she might be my soulmate.

A. Well, first and foremost I would stop making excuses about your husband potentially cheating on you.

If you really think that you should confront him, instead of using it as a reason for you to cheat as well.

That being said, if you REALLY think this woman could be your soulmate you need to have a long hard think about your life. If you’re very unhappily married, and it sounds like you might be, then I would speak to this woman about the potential of a future together.

If you’re both on the same page, you may need to explain the situation to your husband and begin a trial separation. I urge you to take your time and not to make any rash decisions.

If you have, in fact, met your soulmate, you will figure this out together.

Read Chloe's previous advice, including help for someone who's bloke wanted her to get a boob job here.

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