“We are middle-aged women. We cannot act this way anymore,” says Vicki, before all hell breaks loose.
On Wednesday’s "Real Housewives of Orange County," Tamra Judge, Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador embarked on one helluva Mexican adventure — and we are so glad they did.
"We are middle-aged women. We cannot act this way anymore," Vicki said during the trip. Ironic that she’s the one who wound up peeing her pants in the middle of the Mexican airport after taking a tequila shot, dropping the glass and slipping in the aftermath.
And so began 48 hours of absolute mayhem and excellent reality television.
By the time the ladies actually made it out to the bar on their first night, they were almost 10 tequila shots deep … each. Tamra drunkenly encouraged Shannon to show more cleavage by pulling down her own off-the-shoulder top. No, she wasn’t wearing a bra. Yes, she has perfect boobs.
Elsewhere, Vicki was actually doing a decent job of maintaining some semblance of dignity because she promised her boyfriend, Steve Lodge, she’d behave herself — which meant no dancing on the bar. Boo.
When the ladies got back to their room, Tamra stripped nude and jumped in the hot tub. She begged Shannon to join her, but Shannon wasn’t as confident in putting her whole body on display for the show’s full cast and crew — and everyone watching at home — so she kept on her Spanx.
Sometime in-between the thrashing and splashing and jumping and screaming, Tamra broke her foot while wearing a sombrero and nothing else.
She ended up taking a cab by herself at 4 in the morning to the nearest hospital, where she was treated and given a healthy helping of pain medicine. In fact, she was given so much, she ended up falling asleep during the ladies’ last dinner in Mexico.
After dinner, Vicki and Shannon wheeled Tamra back to their hotel room and put her to bed. They then embarked on a tequila tasting, and after one too many shots, Shannon began to get emotional about her divorce from David Beador.
"I have to tell you that the fact that you both came down here to spend just a whopping two days with me has meant so much to me," she said tearfully to Vicki. "Four years ago, I wouldn’t even sip tequila. It was David’s new drink. And I didn’t know that he was having an affair at the time. And that was their thing — they would drink tequila."
"I spent 20 years with a man, and he took me on a trip, and then all of a sudden we come home, and he was done," she continued. "And the fact that he has found someone within months of leaving me is devastating. I have gone through the pain knowing that he is with somebody else."
Vicki, whose relationship and breakup with Brooks Ayers played a huge role on the show a few seasons back, held Shannon’s hands and said, "You know what the scary part for me is? You can be all in in a relationship, and at any point in time, the other one can check out. It’s like a death."
The two hugged it out — and then locked lips.
"The Real Housewives of Orange County" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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