Wednesday’s episode of “The Real Housewives of New York” got so dangerous, producers had to stop filming.
Bethenny Frankel did an excellent job of summing up Wednesday’s insane episode of "The Real Housewives of New York" when she said, "We laughed, we cried, we s–t — I think we can go."
Let’s quickly recap: The ladies have been vacationing in Cartagena, Colombia, and it’s been a disaster from the start. During last week’s explosive dinner, Dorinda Medley drunkenly attacked Luann de Lesseps’ sobriety by taking jabs at her Palm Beach arrest, while Bethenny and once-BFF Carole Radziwill battled over the demise of their friendship.
It was anything but smooth sailing tonight as well.
The next morning at breakfast, the ladies trickled in one by one, most of them hoping to leave the events of the night before in the past. Before Dorinda showed up, Lu was telling the ladies that she wasn’t fond of her "Countess" title being thrown in her face. Dorinda strolled in at the tail end of the conversation and became immediately defensive. She told Lu she had been "a good friend" and didn’t deserve to be spoken to the way Lu was speaking to her.
Dorinda then accused Luann of lecturing and judging her, which Luann denied. She also accused Luann of being "high on her horse" and told her never to call her or ask for her support again.
In an effort to diffuse the situation, Bethenny told Dorinda to settle down because she’d regret what she was saying, which prompted Carole to tell Bethenny to butt out. That only set Bethenny off.
The ladies haphazardly patched things up before hopping aboard a yacht, which was destined for a remote island. They drank, they laughed, they swam, Luann scared Ramona Singer with a dead crab, Sonja Morgan got naked and danced, and Dorinda even had a heart-to-heart with Bethenny about how badly she really felt about what she said to Luann.
Everything was going just swimmingly until the coastguard called producers and said the ladies needed to get back on the boat and head back to the mainland ASAP because the waters were getting increasingly choppy. At first, no one was panicked, especially Tinsley Mortimer, who spent half the trip talking about how many times she had been to Cartagena. But when Luann couldn’t find her cellphone and producers were seen telling her, "Don’t worry, we’ll get it for you — just get on the boat," it was obvious that something was very wrong.
The waves were high — like 15 feet high. The cameras could barely capture a still image, but what they did capture looked terrifying. Bethenny was rubbing Carole’s back as she puked into a bowl, and Sonja — who was absolutely hysterical while holding onto a crying Ramona — actually peed her pants. At one point, Dorinda said she smelled smoke and claimed water was flooding the boat. And get this — there was only one life vest.
In the middle of the chaos, the screen went black and a message appeared. It said, "Due to the rough waters, all production crew had to stop filming for the safety of everyone aboard." For Bravo to not cash in on seven panicked Housewives on a yacht meant the situation must have been dire.
Thankfully, the cast and crew all made it safely back to Cartagena — but they weren’t all out of the woods.
Everyone except for Bethenny and Tinsley wound up getting food poisoning and spent their last night fighting over bathrooms.
In the words of Bethenny Frankel, it was a "diarrhea festival."
"The Real Housewives of New York" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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