'Sex and the City': Was Mr. Big Really All That 'Horrible' To Carrie?

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big ended up together when Sex and the City finally wrapped. Before he finally decided Carrie was “the one”, the pair had dated off-and-on for years. Carrie’s best friends, Miranda Hobbes, Samantha Jones, and Charlotte York, all seemed to think Mr. Big was horrible to Carrie during their early relationship, but there is reason to believe that wasn’t’ exactly the case. 

Mr. Big didn’t really do anything terrible to Carrie in season 1 

Carrie met Mr. Big early on in the run of Sex and the City. They began dating shortly after that, and while their relationship was a bit bumpy, the reason their initial romance ended wasn’t particularly awful. Carrie wanted more from Mr. Big than he was willing to give her. While Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha all seemed to think he was “horrible” to her. Was he really, though?

If you look at it from a different perspective, he really wasn’t a horrible guy. In fact, he was more forthcoming and honest than most of the men who graced Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda’s lives. Mr. Big told Carrie he wasn’t ready to make the relationship super serious, and he wasn’t interested in introducing her to his mother just yet. Reddit users argue that Mr. Big just set boundaries that Carrie didn’t like. That didn’t make him horrible. It made him honest. 

Mr. Big merely moved on in Season 2

After their season 1 romance ended, Carrie and Big spent a little time apart. They reconnected in season 2, and things appeared to be going well. Mr. Big even managed to muster up the courage to tell Carrie he loved her. Then, he went to Paris for work, effectively ending the romance because he wouldn’t tell Carrie that he wanted her to join him in France. 

Mr. Big critics argue that leaving Carrie behind to move on super quickly was a terrible thing to do. Was it really, though? Mr. Big and Carrie broke up before he moved to France. While he was there, Carrie dated other men, and he, clearly, dated other women. He proposed to Natasha, and they married once they returned stateside. Was it heartbreaking for Carrie? Yes. Was Mr. Big inherently wrong for moving on with his life? Absolutely not. 

Leaving Carrie at the altar was pretty awful 

While Mr. Big might not have been awful to Carrie in general, there was one moment in the couple’s history when he was truly terrible. During Sex and the City: The Movie, Big left Carrie at the altar. His concerns about the wedding and marriage may have been valid, but his way of dealing with it was particularly awful. Because he was too afraid to talk about his concerns, he humiliated the woman he loved and destroyed a day that should have been special. 

The heart-wrenching moment when Carrie realized Big wasn’t going to show up at the ceremony is a tough scene to watch. Sure, he made things right in the end, but that moment appeared to confirm that Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte were right about Mr. Big all along. In the grand scheme of things, though, the one major moment didn’t make him a terrible boyfriend. 

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