I resented my partner for making me have a baby and couldn’t tell him how depressed I was, reveals new-mum Kate Lawler

VIRGIN Radio presenter Kate Lawler has revealed she “resented” her partner for making her have a baby. 

The former big brother winner, 41, who lives in London, said she couldn’t tell fiance Martin “Boj” Bojtos how depressed she was after giving birth to daughter Noa in February.

Speaking to Fabulous, Kate, who is the Fabulous cover star this week, said she went to the “darkest place” she’d ever been to during the first eight weeks of motherhood.

Although provided constant support, but there were times when Kate, who is preparing to return to her Drivetime show on Virgin Radio, didn’t feel able to carry on.

She said: “He really wanted to be a dad and there was a little bit of worry there for him in the beginning, thinking that he’d made me do this. Like: ‘Goodness, she’s going to blame me for this…’  

“And yeah, I definitely had thoughts of resentment, moments where I thought to myself: ‘Why did I let him convince me this would be a good idea? 

“Why did we do this? Why did I do this? I kept asking him if he’d known it would be this hard? Did he think it would be as bad? 

“There were times where I could tell he felt broken too, and I felt like he hated me because I was being so down. 

“And I was afraid to tell him how depressed I was. Having a baby really does put pressure on your relationship. 

“But thankfully Boj is nothing like me! He’s so calm and he’s got more patience. He has been my rock.” 

Poignantly, she adds: “I don’t think I would be here now if it wasn’t for him. He has been incredible. And I look at him now with Noa and my heart melts.”

Kate’s bosses at Virgin Radio were completely supportive when she asked to extend her planned 12-week maternity leave. 

She says now it would have been impossible to return so soon.

Kate has been through too much to take any chances with her mental health. 

And she has a heartfelt message of solidarity to all new mums and would urge anyone suffering not to do so in silence. 

“I know that there are going to be loads of mums and expectant mums reading this, and if you’re finding it hard to talk to someone, don’t do what I did and keep it inside. Talk to people about your struggles. Please don’t hide away.”

Read the full story in this week's Fabulous magazine.

You’re Not Alone

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:

  • CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
  • Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
  • Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
  • Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
  • Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
  • Movember, www.uk.movember.com
  • Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm


Kate previously revealed she can’t SHOWER because she’s scared to leave baby Noa alone.

And the Big Brother star also revealed secret Love Island feud & lifts the lid on sharing bed with Hollyoaks star on celeb series of show.

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