The London mayoral elections are set to take place on May 6, but while most of the candidates are keen to play up their connection to the capital, one contender claims to come from much further afield.
Count Binface – who under the name Lord Buckethead stood against then Prime Minister Theresa May in the 2017 Maidenhead by-election – says he’s from a distant planet in “the Sigma Quadrant.”
The Daily Star spoke to the self-styled Count from another world, and our first question had to be – “how far away is the Sigma Quadrant?”
“My quadrant is roughly a million light years away, give or take,” says the Count, “which makes me more local to London than some of the other mayoral candidates.”
He explains that he travelled to Earth on his starship, The Alboreto, and intends to return home just as soon as he’s finished conquering Earth. Which, he says, will be “next week, hopefully”.
Asked about the sharp increase in the number of UFO sightings that have been reported since he stepped onto the political stage – notably the strange alien drones that have been buzzing US Navy ships, the Count declined to comment.
He was more forthcoming about his political ambitions.
Given his dabbling with national as well as local politics, we asked whether there was an official Binface Party: “I did indeed take on Mrs May in the 2017 General Election,” he says. “Where is she now? Exactly, nobody knows. So I think we can all agree that our battle ended up 1-0 to me.”
“My ultimate goal,” explains the Count, “is the conquest of your entire country and then the planet, but I’m taking it one step at a time.”
He says that he did recently start his own Count Binface Party, which is doing “enormously well” and currently has one member – the Count himself.
Running a political party is “a lot of admin,” he says, “but it means I get to use a snazzy logo on the ballot paper.”
Of course political ambitions mean political compromises. Given that he has previously described rival candidates such as Pit believe that they’re the best humans you could come up with, frankly. They’re a complete and utter shower.”
The Count has a number of eye-catching policies for the capital, including renaming London Bridge after Fleabag star Phoebe Waller, applying for London to join the EU and tackling hunger in the capital by banning shops from selling croissants for more than £1.
He also thinks that the Royal Family have too many palaces and should give most of them up to house the homeless: “I’ll let them keep whichever one they like best, and they can gift the rest to the nation. I’m fair like that.
"Prince Andrew, though," he adds, "there’s a contender for the Phantom Zone…"
We asked if he had any other secret policy plans up his sleeve: ‘I’ll repair Hammersmith Bridge and rename that one Wayne, after the ex-England footballer,” he says, adding “I also have a good mind to rename the city’s main sewers after ministers in the Johnson Government.
On the subject of wider plans for the country as a whole he refused to be drawn: “As Mayor of London, it won’t be up to me to upgrade the rest of the country until I have secured total political control of the UK,” he says, “So give me another week or so and I’ll get back to you on this.”
Count Binface has already got the backing of astronomer and former pop star Professor Brian Cox, so we wondered if he had seen pledges of support from any other celebrities: “I’ve seen positive vibes on Twitter from the likes of Gary Lineker, Lorraine Kelly and Jay Rayner, to name but three,” he says.
“But,” he stressed, “celebrities are no more important to me than each and every London citizen. At the ballot box everyone is equal. I don’t care who you are, I want your first choice vote all the same!”
The Count raised his election expenses via GoFundMe and, now that he's reached his target, has pledged to donate any excess to Shelter.
The London Mayoral Elections are on Thursday May 6 2021. If you have a vote, use it wisely.
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