‘I had to clean randy hoarder’s masturbation station living room of 700 dildos’

Crime scene technicians are maybe the definition of 'it's a dirty job but someone has to do it' – they walk into horrific scenes, work their magic, and move on to the next job.

Gabrielle Martin of National Crime Scene Cleanup in the United States. says their goal “is to make it look like it never happened”.

The 30-year-old explained nothing is “off limits” and so she's worked on everything from someone shooting themselves dead in a lift, to wading through 700 dildos in a hoarding cleanup.

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Gabrielle whose worked in the field for three years, said CSI TV dramas barely scratch the surface of the grim realities of the job at hand.

Speaking exclusively to the Daily Star, Gabrielle said: “One minute you can be consoling that family that lost their son to a shotgun suicide, and the next you might be threatened or chased by a hoarder whose angry you’re coming to remove their piles of waist-high mouldy, roach-infested food and newspaper clutter.

“You should always expect strong smells, gruesome sights, and all different types of people”.

As a biohazard cleaner, you don’t always know the details of the scene you’re working on, unless it is a private hire – for example by family or business owners.

The funniest scene Gabrielle recalls working on involved more than 700 dildos hoarded in a living room and surrounding a loveseat.

The team dubbed it the “masturbation station”.

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In one incident, where the team was hired by a Texas landlord, Gabrielle was given the full backstory and says it is one of the most bizarre scenes she has ever been involved in.

She said: “The backstory was that the mailman noticed that the tenant’s mail had piled up over some time.

“Under probable cause, the landlord conducted a wellness check to discover a strong decomposition odour and a lifeless 680lb body lying on a mattress in his own day's old faeces and urine.

“Paramedics arrived at the scene to determine the man was actually still alive. He was bedridden for so long that his bed sores and excrement attached his skin to the mattress.”

She explained that in order to move the man they had to cut around the mattress, load him onto a box trailer and transport him to the hospital – where he sadly died with sepsis.

Martin added: “We were called to the scene to remove the remaining pieces of the mattress, the bed frame, and any pieces of the property damaged by bio.”

Similarly, the most gruesome scene involved a gunshot suicide in a small confined space high up in a windmill’s lift shaft.

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Hoarding situations typically take the most effort and the longest to clean – with some taking days to complete.

She said: “They all contained different items however in general they were all ceiling-high hoards of clutter that included newspapers, rotten food, boxes, bottles, take-out containers, food containers, books, trash, clothes, blankets, plastic bags, old TVs, magazines, cat litter boxes, plants (real and fake), vases, stuffed animals, jars, mice, red solo cups, cans, and sometimes even dead pets or animals.

“It takes days to carefully remove all the clutter, sometimes shovels may be used but you don’t want to do this in a way that could cause a collapse so you have to be strategic”

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When asked if there were any clean-up scenes that she refused to work on, Gabrielle explains there haven’t been for her, but a crew mate once refused to clean a home he believed was haunted.

For anyone considering stepping into the gruesome career, Gabrielle says: “You’ll definitely want to have a strong stomach. You’ll need to be okay with seeing bodily fluids, dead pets, animals, mass colonies of roaches, bed bugs, etc.

"Be able to manage your emotions – You're going to be around a lot of crying”.

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