Ian Hyland is amused by Celebrity Five Go Caravanning despite low-rent ‘celebs’

Celebrity Five Go Caravanning

★★★★

One thought regularly popped into my head as I watched this new Channel 5 celebrity travelogue last Friday: You’d never get me in one of those caravans.

I mean, I’m 6ft 6in. You literally would not get me inside.

Which makes me think C5 has missed a trick.

It was, of course, hilarious to see Sherrie Hewson, Tony Blackburn, Colin Baker, Todd Carty and “Scouse Songbird Sonia” bunking up to tour the Lake District.

But imagine how much funnier it would have been if they’d booked Richard Osman (6ft 7in), Dan Walker (6ft 6in), Miranda Hart (6ft 1in), Gwendoline Christie (6ft 3in) and Greg Davies (6ft 8in).

Sadly, that was never going to happen. The celebs on the show are all at the “You might know me from” stage of their careers.

Speaking of which, I feel Todd Carty’s introduction had a glaring omission. Mentioning Tucker Jenkins from Grange Hill and Mark Fowler from EastEnders was fair enough, I suppose.

But surely “That out-of-control bloke in the candy-stripe jacket who totally overshot the rink on Dancing On Ice” would have jogged even more memories?

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Luckily, what these guys lack in star power they make up for in entertainment value.

Sherrie got things off to a great start, checking her kitchen and huffing: “No wine in the fridge.”

She had addressed that issue by the end of the first day, though. Which may or may not have contributed to the window-rattling 3am snoring to which Sherrie subjected poor old Sonia.

N.B. In unrelated news, Sherrie revealed that she is single and has lived alone for the past 16 years.

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