Stormy Daniels Says Donald Trump Lasted Less Than Two Minutes

Suddenly, all those Anna Wintour leaving Vogue rumors make sense. I’m sure she spent most of the summer with smelling salts and a pint of Chunky Monkey at her Long Island retreat after reading the first draft of reporter Amy Chozick’s sit-down with Stormy Daniels and Michael Avenatti. How DARE Amy corrupt and singe Anna’s eyes and the reputation of Vogue with the filth and smut of a black lacquered striptease stage in northern Wisconsin?! Eh, the sex stuff…I’m sure Anna’s read a lot worse. Anyway, Stormy talked…and talked and talked about her time with Donald Trump, and well…let’s just say it gives a whole new meaning to “brief” encounter.

Vogue just published an extensive interview with Stormy and Michael, and it sounds like those two actually have a pretty funny friendship. That being said, none of us scanned that piece because we want to know what witty quips those two have for each other. We want to know if the president has a funny-shaped wiener or other gross shit like that. She doesn’t give much as to the shape of the executive sausage (thank God), but she does say how long it took for him bust one:

“’How many details can you really give about two minutes?’ she says. Two minutes? I ask. ‘Maybe. I’m being generous.’”

Oooo! No wonder Melania always has a pout on and sleeps in a separate room! She married into a lifetime with a one-pump chump! While it doesn’t exactly surprise me that Prez Cheeto is a one-hit wonder, I’m sure this is worse for the White House than when Michael Cohen ratted his ass for paying hush money to Stormy in the first place. Having someone call the Donald lackluster in the sack is about as bad and shocking as if someone said he has bad hair! Oh wait…


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