Henry Winkler, Jeff Daniels, David Duchovny and Other Stars Are Terrible at Giving Life Advice

Stephen Colbert enlists the aid of famous people to answer life advice questions and they prove to be very, very, very bad at it … unless you’re into ferrets.

Stephen Colbert enlisted some of his celebrity friends to help combat something that has plagued and perplexed him for years now: why do people ask famous people for life advice?

"They don’t realize the only thing I’m qualified to give advice on is how to wear a tie and occasionally talk to Nicki Minaj," Colbert said.

Famous people are no more peopled in life than anyone else, and if Colbert’s little experiment proves anything, it might be that famous people ought to be the last people we seek out for advice … unless you have an unhealthy interest in ferrets, like one former "X-Files" star.

Colbert enlisted the likes of Henry Winkler, Sharon Stone, Jeff Daniels, Helen Hunt, Simon Pegg, Wyatt Cenac and the aforementioned — or afore-teased if you prefer — David Duchovny to see how they would do filling in for the likes of "Dear Abby."

It turns out not that well.

When asked by one man about whether or not he should leave his girlfriend if she’s not interested in having questions, Daniels dodged the question altogether. "that’s a pretty heavy question, Ed. Instead of answering that, I’m gonna answer an easier one, like, are sandwiches good?" he said. "Yes, Ed, sandwiches are good."

"Maybe, instead of having a baby, you could raise a wolf," Winkler suggested helpfully. "I mean, you always hear people go, what were you raised by a wolf? But you never hear, what’d you raise, a wolf? Ed, that could be you."

Another person wrote in asking what to do about their neighbor’s unkempt lawn leading Pegg into an elaborate story about UK "grass fairies" that we are very skeptical of. Meanwhile, Stone’s suggestion involved ice picks in a disturbing nod to her iconic role in "Basic Instinct."

And Duchovny, well, every question seemed to have a similarly-themed answer. Let’s just say somebody loves their ferrets. Hunt gave perhaps the most honest answer to someone who didn’t want to have to write out a thank you letter to her grandmother. "I’m not really sure. This isn’t my problem," she concluded.

Check out all of their terrible and hilarious advice in the video above. If we’re lucky, Colbert will make this a recurring treat like Kimmel’s "Mean Tweets."

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