Doris Day, Gary Rhodes, Toni Morrison and Keith Flint are among the host of celebrities we said goodbye to in 2019
- Doris Day died at her home in Carmel Valley, California in May this year
- Stars such as the Prodigy’s Keith Flint died at his home in Essex in March
- Many others such as chef Gary Rhodes and actor Tony Britton also passed away
2019 has been a bumpy ride for many with the climate crisis continuing to escalate and the dreaded Brexit debate becoming ever more present in our everyday lives.
But for some this year, the ride came to an end and we had to say goodbye to many famous faces who have graced our screen with their talents.
Celebrities such as Doris Day, Gary Rhodes, Tony Morrison and Keith Flint are just some of the celebrities who have died this year.
Many of the celebrities who have died this year will inspire generations to come, here is a round up of who we have lost this year, starting with December and working all the way back to January.
Actor Tony Britton (pictured) died aged 95 on December 22. The news was announced by his daughter Fern
On 22 December, Tony Britton’s presenter daughter Fern Britton announced the death of her father.
The actor starred in classic British films including Operation Amsterdam, Sunday Bloody Sunday and The Day of the Jackal.
He also appeared alongside Nigel Havers and Dinah Sheridan in the BBC sitcom Don’t Wait Up between 1983 to 1990.
He was born in June 1924 in Birmingham and was called up to the Army during World War II, where he formed a theatre group with fellow recruits during officer training.
Martin Peters died on December 21. The former footballer is pictured above in August 1971
On 21 December football fans around the world paid tribute to West Ham legend Martin Peters, 76.
He was one of three West Ham players who lifted the Jules Rimet trophy in Wembley Stadium in 1966.
He scored the second goal of the match which put England 2-1 up against West Germany.
Renowned as being the complete midfielder, Peters was good in the air, able to cross with either foot and possessed great movement, being able to drift into goal-scoring positions unnoticed by his markers which would later see him nicknamed ‘The Ghost’.
Peters came through the West Ham academy, having signed as an apprentice in 1959 and went on to help the east London club win the European Cup Winners’ Cup in 1965.
Kenny Lynch is pictured at the Ivor Novello Awards in London in May 2018
Jimmy Tarbuck remembered his friend Lynch as ‘a great singer and a wonderful personality who looked great in a good suit’. The pair are pictured here together in 1983
Actor and singer Kenny Lynch who rose to fame singing and performing in variety shows in the 1960s died aged 81 on 18 December.
Lynch, who was one of few black singers in British pop music at the time, had two top ten hits with Up On The Roof and You Can Never Stop Me Loving You.
He also performed with The Beatles on their first UK tour in 1963 and covered the band’s song Misery, from their debut album Please Please Me.
But Lynch had more success as a songwriter, being behind the likes of Sha La La La Lee by the Small Faces and Cilla Black’s Love’s Just A Broken Heart.
Lynch, who was born in Stepney, East London in 1938, as one of 13 children, was awarded the OBE in 1970 and appeared alongside Sid James and Charles Hawtrey in the ‘Carry On Loving’ comedy film in the same year.
David Bellamy died aged 86 on December 11, he is pictured above on Bellamy’s Birds Eye View
On 11 December environmentalist and broadcaster David Bellamy died aged 86.
The former broadcaster was a household name, appearing in programmes such as Don’t Ask Me and Bellamy on Botany, and travelling to the North Pole for an ITV series called On Top Of The World.
His distinctive voice was a frequent target of impersonators, and Sir Lenny Henry’s catchphrase ‘grapple me grapenuts’ was inspired by Bellamy.
Later in life, he attracted criticism after labelling climate change as ‘poppycock’ and complained that he had been ‘shunned’ as a result.
On 9 December , Roxette singer Marie Frederiksson died aged 61 after a 17-year battle with brain cancer.
The Listen To Your Heart singer retired from touring three years ago on doctor’s orders, and is survived by husband Mikael Bolyos and their two children, daughter Inez Josefin, 26, and son Oscar, 23.
Roxette’s debut single Neverending Love followed by the album Pearls of Passion in 1986 made the band big stars in Sweden.
But it was after the release of their single, The Look from Roxette’s second album Look Sharp! that their fame grew internationally.
Caroll Spinney, who gave Big Bird his warmth and Oscar the Grouch his growl for nearly 50 years on ‘Sesame Street,’ died on 8 December at the age of 85 at his home in Connecticut.
The legendary puppeteer lived for some time with dystonia, which causes involuntary muscle contractions.
Spinney voiced and operated the two major Muppets from their inception in 1969 when he was 36, and performed them almost exclusively into his 80s on the PBS kids´ television show that later moved to HBO.
Through his two characters, Spinney gained huge fame that brought international tours, books, record albums, movie roles, and visits to the White House.
Juice WRLD, who launched his career on SoundCloud before becoming a streaming juggernaut, died on 8 December after being treated for opioid use during a police search.
At the rapper’s funeral, his mother, Carmella Wallace, paid tribute to her son along with his siblings and grandmother also spoke during the ceremony to give eulogies.
‘My dear son Jarad, God trusted me to raise you and I poured all I had into you as the Lord guided me. We were inseparable and even though you left home early, we were always in each other’s hearts and always had a special bond,’ Carmella wrote in the accompanying program.
”We were always overjoyed to see each other, and you still called me ‘mommy’ as you hugged and kissed me when you saw me,’ she continued. ‘Your love was pure and innocent, and your heart was genuine. You truly cared about people and wanted to make the world a better place. I am going to miss you dearly. Rest in peace my dear one; mommy loves you.’
English football player Ron Saunders died on 7 December.
During a 16-year-playing career he played for teams including Everton, Tonbridge Angels in the Southern League, Gillingham, Portsmouth, Watford and Charlton Athletic.
He then moved on to a career in management and led Villa to First Division title and two League Cups.
He was born in 1932 and after his death players wore black arm bands to commemorate him.
Cricketer Bob Willis died on 4 December after battling with prostate cancer.
During his career he took 325 wickets in 90 Tests from 1971 to 1984, claiming a career-best 8-43.
This became infamous as it helped England to a famous win over Australia at Headingley in the 1981 Ashes.
He also captained England in 18 Tests and 29 one-day internationals.
On 27 November Jonathan Miller, the polymath British stage director, filmmaker and comedian who co-created groundbreaking comedy revue “Beyond the Fringe,” died at the age of 85.
One of the country´s most important and wide-ranging arts figures, Miller had a decades-long career that encompassed theater, television and opera.
Born in London in 1934, Miller studied medicine and qualified as a doctor before turning to the arts, spurred by the success of “Beyond the Fringe,” a satirical revue he created in 1960 with fellow Cambridge University students Dudley Moore, Peter Cook and Alan Bennett.
The show went from London´s West End to Broadway, and helped launch a wave of irreverent, satirical comedy that included Monty Python´s Flying Circus.
Australia critic Clive James died on 24 November after battling with Leukemia.
He had lived and worked in the UK since 1961 and previously studied at the University of Sydney.
In 1972 he became a critic for the Observer where it was claimed he was unpopular.
He also worked as a critic for the Daily Telegraph between 2011 and 2014.
Gary Rhodes died on 26 November he is pictured above during a TV show he presented
British restaurateur and television chef Gary Rhodes died on 26 November.
The father-of-two collapsed suddenly at home in Dubai on November 26 and passed away shortly afterwards in hospital with his family at his bedside.
He had shown no signs of illness and had spent weeks enjoying filming for a new ITV series ‘Delicious Dubai’ which is set be screened in the New Year.
The Michelin star chef was later confirmed to have died from subdural haematoma, which is a bleed on the brain.
Days before his death he was filming at the Dubai restaurant of British chef Vineet Bhatia and told him: ‘Life couldn’t be better.’
Iconic photographer Terry O’Neill has died at the age of 81 on 18 November.
Mr O’Neill, who rose to fame capturing the explosion of London’s youth culture in the 1960s, died at home following a long battle with prostate cancer.
He photographed celebrities including Judy Garland, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Frank Sinatra and Kate Moss.
Mr O’Neill also photographed members of the British royal family, and prominent politicians – including Sir Winston Churchill.
On 3 November Robert Norris, known as the original ‘Marlboro Man’ used in ads for the cigarette brand, died at age 90.
Norris passed away at his ranch in Colorado Springs, Colorado, on Sunday. He is survived by his two sons and two daughters, 13 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren.
For 12 years, Norris graced billboards and magazines as the Marlboro Man, a rugged man wearing a cowboy hat in wild terrain – with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth or in his hand.
But despite him pictured holding cigarettes for more than a decade, Norris never smoked and he eventually quit the ad campaign when he felt he wasn’t setting a good example for his children.
On 22 October London Paralympic gold medallist Marieke Velroort ended her life through euthanasia at the age of 40 after battling a degenerative muscle disease.
Three years ago, Marieke stunned the world when she said she was considering killing herself after the 2016 Rio games – in which she won a further two medals.
Afterwards, she said she did not plan to die immediately but when her ‘bad days outnumber the good’.
The inspirational athlete signed paperwork in 2008 that would allow a doctor to end her life in the future in her home country where assisted dying is legal.
On 6 October Ginger Baker died at the age of 80.
Known as ‘the human combine harvester’ for his unique drumming style, Baker helped make Cream, fronted by Eric Clapton one of the world’s first super groups with global sales success and a lasting musical legacy.
His family had announced on September 25 that the London-born drummer, widely recognised as one of the most influential of all time, was critically ill in hospital, adding that he was ‘holding his own’.
On 1 October Peter Sissons, the former presenter on ITN, Channel 4 and the BBC, died peacefully in Maidstone Hospital, Kent.
Liverpool-born Mr Sissons worked in the newsrooms of ITN, Channel 4 and the BBC for 45 years during a long broadcasting career. He also hosted flagship political show Question Time.
The father-of-three retired to Kent with his wife Sylvia after leaving broadcasting in 2009. She was with him when he died last night.
He was 77-years-old.
On 17 September it was revealed that former Emmerdale star Leah Bracknell died aged 55 following a three-year-battle against stage four lung cancer.
Ex-soap actress Bracknell who played Zoe Tate in the Yorkshire Dales show for 16 years from 1989 to 2005, died in September surrounded by family.
Bracknell previously described how she had an ‘attitude of gratitude’ during her cancer battle.
She was often vocal about her cancer treatment, sharing her experiences in a blog and through interviews.In the months leading up to her death she wrote ‘The Cancer Rebel’s Manifesto for Life’ to ‘reject the notion of being a victim’.
On September 26 former French Jacques Chirac died at the age of 86.
Chirac, who had suffered a series of health problems in recent years, died t’surrounded by his family’, his son-in-law Frederic Salat-Baroux said.
In a long career on the French right, Chirac was twice Prime Minister of France before serving as head of state from 1995 to 2007.
Chirac’s opposition to the Iraq War put him at loggerheads with George W. Bush and Tony Blair. As President he made a historic apology for France’s role in the Holocaust but his term was also marked by riots and a stinging defeat over EU integration.
Former Rangers player Fernando Ricksen died aged 43 on 18 September after losing his battle with motor neurone disease.
The Dutchman fought the illness for six years following his diagnosis in 2013.
Ricksen never shirked public appearances despite the disease leaving him with difficulty speaking and needing help to dress and feed himself.
A benefit match for the Dutchman, held at Ibrox in January 2015, saw over 41,000 fans attend Ibrox and raised £320,000 with the proceeds split between Fernando, his daughter Isabella, MND Scotland and the Rangers Charity Foundation.
Ricksen won two league titles, two Scottish Cups and three League Cups during his six-year spell in Scotland.
The lead singer of The Cars died 15 September at the age of 75 after being found ‘unconscious and unresponsive’ in his Manhattan townhouse.
Ocasek and band The Cars were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in April last year.
They were described as ‘hook-savvy with the perfect combo of new wave and classic rock,’ by the institution.
At the time Ocasek told Rolling Stone: ‘It’s certainly a wonderful feeling to be accepted by peers and you see the people that are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, who gets inducted, it’s a positive feeling that you get.’
South African rugby union player Chester Williams died on 6 September.
Williams was the only black player in the Springboks squad as they claimed the world title in 1995. He scored four tries against Western Samoa in the quarter-finals before tasting glory in the final win over New Zealand.
The Paarl-born player represented Western Province and Golden Lions at province level, as well as Super Rugby side the Cats.
After retiring in 2001 he coached the South African sevens team – known as the Blitzboks – and took in spells with the Ugandan and Tunisian national teams. He had most recently been working for the University of the Western Cape as head rugby coach.
Kylie Rae Harris
American singer-song writer Kylie Rae Harris died on 4 September.
The 30-year-old singer had been speeding at 102mph on a highway in New Mexico in September.
Harris ended up clipping the car in front of her and careened into the path of oncoming traffic.
Earlier in the day, in a video that was posted to her Instagram account, Harris could be seen getting teary and emotional after driving for 12 hours. In some parts of the video, she was slurring her words.
On 29 august author Terrance Dicks died.
The author and scriptwriter began working on Dr Who in 1968, soon becoming the head script editor on the show.
The writers and script editor worked with Barry Letts to drive the series ahead during the BBC producer’s five series at the helm.
Dicks would later go on to produce Target novelisations of Doctor Who which were popular with fans, and stage adaptations of the programme.
On 16 august actress Anna Quayle, died.
As well as appearing in 85 episodes of Grange Hill from 1990 to 1994 as Mrs Monroe, Quayle acted alongside The Beatles in their 1964 movie A Hard Day’s Night.
In the film, she portrays a woman who recognises John Lennon despite the songwriter being undercover.
Her most iconic performance was as Baroness Bomburst in the classic 1968 children’s film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
America actor Peter Fonda died on 16 August.
Peter was the younger brother of actress Jane Fonda and son of Henry Fonda and he is survived by his wife Margaret DeVogelere.
Peter was born in New York into Hollywood film royalty. His father Henry Fonda was already a movie giant, known for playing straight-shooting cowboys and soldiers.
Peter had an estranged relationship with his father throughout most of his life, but said that they grew closer over the years before Henry Fonda died in 1982.
Peter’s sister Jane wrote about him in her 2005 memoir: ‘Peter is all deep sweetness, kind and sensitive to his core. He would never intentionally harm anything or anyone. In fact, he once argued with me that vegetables had souls (it was the ’60s).
American novelist Toni Morrison died on 5 August.
Morrison is remembered as one of the most influential figures in the history of American literature, penning 11 novels that shed light on black voices across her six-decade, award-laden career.
Morrison is best known for her novel Beloved, which won a Pulitzer Prize and the American Book Award in 1988.
It tells the story of a mother, Margaret, who makes the tragic decision to murder her baby to save her from slavery. The book was adapted to film in 1998 with Oprah Winfrey as the lead character.
Morrison became the first black woman to ever receive the Nobel Prize for literature in 1993, being hailed by the Swedish academy for her masterful use of language and her ‘visionary force’.
Singer Joe Longthorne died on 3 August.
He was known for his striking singing voice and accurate musical impersonations of the likes of Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey.
The star singer was born into an entertainment family of Romani descent in Hull, on May 31, 1955.
During his childhood, he made regular appearances on the ITV series ‘Junior Showtime’ until the age of 16.
He shot to fame after appearing on the London Weekend Television series ‘Search for a Star’ in 1981.
English keyboard artist Ian Gibbons died on 1 August.
Gibbons played on the Kink’s 1982 comeback hit Come Dancing, appearing in the black and white music video donning black tie as they flirted with a rockabilly aesthetic.
The musician stayed with the group for 10 years, while also working alongside the likes of English rockers Dr. Feelgood and pop group The Kursaal Flyers. He rejoined The Kinks in 1993 and remained in the band until their split in 1996.
Over the years Gibbons also worked with the likes of Suzi Quatro, Mike Vernon, Andy Scott and Maggie Bell.
American professional wrestler Harley Race died on 1 August.
He died from complications of lung cancer aged 76.
He had started his wrestling career at just age 15 but was forced to leave the ring in 1961 after an accident.
Coronation Street actress Paula Williamson died on 29 July.
The 38-year-old appeared on the ITV soap three times between 2008 and 2012 as an unnamed nurse.
She had been married to convict Charles Bronson.
The actress was found dead on a bed of cocaine and tablets.
Dutch actor Rutger Hauer died on 19 July.
He was famed for his roles in Blade Runner and True Blood.
Hauer made a name for himself in supernatural and horror projects but his most notable and beloved role came as Roy Batty, the murderous synthentic-human nemesis of Harrison Ford in 1982’s Blade Runner.
British Judoka Craig Fallon died on 15 July and was born in Ipswich on 18 December 1982.
The British world judo champion emailed his partner saying ‘this was my choice’ before hanging himself, an inquest heard.
Fallon was the last British judoka to win a world title and only the third British male to achieve the feat when he claimed the 60kg title at the World Championships in 2005.
He also won the top prize at the 2006 European Championships and the 2007 World Cup.
Pernel ‘Sweet Pea’ Whitaker
American professional boxer Pernel ‘Sweet Pea’ Whitaker died on 14 July.
Whitaker was an internationally renowned boxer who won a gold medal at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles and another gold at the 1983 Pan American games, both as an amateur.
Over his three decades in the ring, Whitaker clinched championships in four different WBC weight classes: Lightweight, Light welterweight, Welterweight and Light middleweight.
YouTuber Emily Hartridge died on 12 July.
The TV presenter was described as ‘one of a kind’ during a mock funeral service she hosted for a TV show three years before she was tragically killed.
In recent years she had interviewed the likes of Russell Brand, Hugh Jackman, Amanda Seyfried and Eddie Redmayne, as well as hosting Virgin Media’s first YouTube Channel, The Snap.
She died riding an electric scooter.
Irish comedian Brendan Grace died on 11 July in Galway.
The comedian and singer – who played evil Father Fintan Stack in the 90s Channel 4 sitcom, and was known for his character ‘Bottler’ in his school cap, blazer and shorts – had been in hospital receiving treatment for pneumonia when he was diagnosed with lung cancer.
Grace, who was in hospital in Ireland where he was receiving treatment, had faced multiple major health battles in recent years.
This included when he was diagnosed with diabetes in 2009, eventually losing two of his toes as a result of a gangrene caused by the condition.
Then in 2015 he had a stroke followed by a bad fall, saying that it has left him often looking like he was under the influence.
Actor Freddie Jones died on 9 July.
Jones – father of Bafta-winning film and television actor Toby Jones – earned many fans by playing the role in the popular soap from 2005 until 2018.
He was born in Stoke-on-Trent in 1927 and became an actor later in life, spending the first 10 years of his career as a laboratory assistant at the British Ceramic Research Association.
American actor Rip Torn died on 9 July.
The 88-year-old ‘passed away peacefully at his home in Lakeville, Connecticut’ on July 9, his representative said at the time, though few details were offered as to his cause of death.
Now though his death certificate, obtained by TMZ, shows the beloved performer’s passing came ‘due to (or as a consequence of) Alzheimer’s dementia’.
The document also says Torn was diagnosed ‘years’ before he died, and said he was buried at a cemetery in Poughkeepsie, New York, two days after his death on July 11.
Journalist John McCririck died on 5 July.
The presenter, known as ‘Big Mac’ to many in the racing world, was a familiar face on Channel 4’s coverage of the sport for many years, with his career on television spanning four decades.
McCririck, who married his wife Jenny in 1971 and famously referred to her as ‘Booby’, was an unmissable character with his deerstalker hat, sideburns and cigar, and thrived at the heart of what he called the ‘betting jungle’.
McCririck was a divisive character whose misogynistic comments on TV caused fury among viewers in his later years, despite his insistence this was just part of a role he played as ‘pantomime villain’, especially on Celebrity Big Brother.
British actor Bryan Marshall died on 25 June.
He was born in Battersea, London, and began his career in the 1960s, also appearing alongside Michael Caine in Alfie.
He also appeared in Neighbours and Home and Away and hosted crime show Australia’s Most Wanted in 1989.
Welsh actor William Simons died in London on 21 June.
He was best known for playing as PC Alf Ventress in Heartbeat, and passed away aged 79.
He starred in all 18 series of the ITV police drama between 1992 to 2010.
American artist Glora Vanderbilt died on 17 June in New York.
She was 95-years-old and died from stomach cancer.
Born Gloria Laura Vanderbilt in 1924, the 95-year-old lived a life of scandal, glamour and tragedy. Her cruel nickname, ‘poor little rich girl’, was the result of a highly publicized custody battle between her aunt and her mother who fought for her when she was 10 in the 1930s, after the death of her father.
She was married four times and had four children, including a son who killed himself in 1988.
English actor Paul Darrow died on 3 June.
The actor was greatly loved for his portrayal of computer expert Kerr Avon in the sci-fi drama Blake’s 7, and was the voice of independent radio stations Jack FM and Union Jack.
Maureen Marrs, his long-time friend and PA, described knowing Paul as a ‘privilege’ and said the world would be a ‘darker place’ without him.
Jose Antonio Reyes
Former Arsenal and Real Madrid star Jose Antonio Reyes died in a car crash at the age of 35 on June 1.
The footballer was killed along with his 23-year-old cousin while another man suffered serious burns when the vehicle they were travelling in overturned and burst into flames in Utrera, the town where Reyes was born, just outside Seville.
He leaves behind his daughters Noelia and Triana, son Jose Antonio Jr and wife Noelia Lopez, who he married in June 2017.
German-born British writer and illustrator Judith Kerr died on 22 May.
She wrote several enduring childhood classics including The Tiger Who Came To Tea and the Mog the Cat series.
She lived an extraordinary life, fleeing Germany and the rise of Nazism in 1933 and settling in England, where she forged a successful writing career spanning 50 years.
A host of parents who had Kerr’s books read to them in their childhood and went on to read the same stories to their children left touching messages of thanks to the much-loved author, with many claiming to know the stories ‘off by heart’.
Formula 1 legend Niki Lauda died at the age of 70 on 23 May.
The Austrian died at University Hospital Zurich in Switzerland surrounded by his closest family.
Lauda had two kidney transplants in his life – the first in 1997 with an organ donated by his brother, and then again in 2005 donated by his future wife Birgit Wetzinger, who was then his girlfriend.
The F1 racer was considered one of the sport’s greatest ever drivers and in 1976 was badly burned when he crashed during the German Grand Prix, but made an astonishingly fast return to racing just six weeks later.
Actor and theatre director Andrew Hall died on 20 May.
Andrew played Audrey’s lover Marc Selby on Corrie from January to August 2011, and on the outside seemed like every inch the charming male suitor.
But in a shock twist it was revealed that the wine merchant had a secret alter-ego Marcia, who Audrey struggled to accept despite her best efforts.
After insisting Marcia remain a secret, Marc defiantly entered the Rovers dressed in character, and so Audrey immediately dumped him.
Doris Day died on May 13. She is pictured above in a still from Tea for Two in 1950
Hollywood legend Doris Day died at the age of 97 on May 13.
She died at her estate home in Carmel Valley, California, where she has lived in solitude for the last several decades with her dozens of pets.
Day charmed America in the 40s, 50s, and 60s, starring in an astonishing 39 films in just 20 years. On screen, she was a bright-eyed goody two-shoes and she often referred to herself as ‘America’s virgin’.
Her personal life, however, was marred by darker episodes.
All four of her marriages collapsed; her first husband beat her, the second left her, the third squandered her fortune and her fourth felt overlooked by her for her dogs.
On 9 May TV presenter Brian Walden died at the age of 86 following complications from emphysema.
The veteran broadcaster, who started his career as a Labour politician, died at home in St Peter Port.
Walden began his career as a Labour politician, representing Ladywood between 1964 and 1977.
Freddie Starr died on 9 May in Spain.
The 76 year old had coronary artery disease and had a quadruple bypass following a heart attack in 2010. He also suffered from asthma.
The entertainer was also said to be in thousands of pounds of debt and had received threats from lawyers over unpaid water bills at his Spanish bolthole.
Actor Peter Mayhew died on 30 April.
Mayhew, who landed the role of the Wookie due to his towering 7ft 3ins frame, died of a heart attack at his Texas home after suffering years of health complications due to his height.
Ford, who last appeared on screen with Mayhew in 2015’s The Force Awakens, said: ‘Peter Mayhew was a kind and gentle man, possessed of great dignity and noble character.
Keith Flint of The Prodigy died on 4 March. He is pictured above at the 10th annual Incheon Pentaport Rock Festival in Incheon, west of Seoul on Ausust 9, 2015
Singer Keith Flint died on 4 March.
The 49-year-old musician was found dead at his country mansion near Dunmow, Essex.
His band mates later revealed he had ended his own life, three years after he stated in an interview that he ‘wasn’t saving up for anything’ and said: ‘When I’m done, I’ll kill myself’.
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